Investing in YOURSELF this 2012: Married or Single

"Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility."
- Oprah Winfrey

Happy New Yeaaaarrrrrrrrr!!! *pops champagne* and to my loyal readers thanks for being so supportive! Hope you continue to journey with me in 2012! 

Have not posted in awhile, well since last year *blush*. 

Now we have entered a new year, which means new beginnings and for some a new life. With the onset of every new year, we always hear about people making New Years resolution. But surprising findings reveal a majority of adults don't actually make them! A recent survey (sponsored by Nestle® and Raisinets®) have shown that less than one-third (32%) of adults will make New Year's resolutions in 2012. Moreover, of those who will, 60% already know they will break them at some point in the new year.

So I got to thinking, instead of making New Years resolution, how about finishing what you have started and most importantly while setting your sights, invest in YOU. I recently bought this book and it highlighted what I have witnessed many times over, even by those type of  I-dont-need-a-man-'cause-I-make-my-own-money women. 
Funny enough most of those types of women I find never really know their place in a relationship. Some women after getting married/getting into a relationship, they opt to make the man their ONLY priority thus there is no level of independence exercised because they are afraid that their partner may resent them. 

Upon being interviewed by Barbara Walters (ABC) in December of last year, the First Lady Michelle Obama voiced; "that she makes time for HERSELF". With that statement, an outsider might think it's a selfish move but you know what; you have to do you. 

“People are islands,' she said. 'They don't really touch. However close they are, they're really quite separate. Even if they've been married for fifty years.” 
― Ian Fleming, Casino Royale

Also in the same year Beyonce was interviewed by Piers Morgan (CNN) where she had mentioned that she will forever pursue her goals. With that said one of the hardest working women in the business is proving and has proven that dreams can be attainable whether you are SINGLE or MARRIED. It's all about balance and a great belief in self.

"Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, I think it all kinda falls into place."
- Jennifer Aniston

Here is a to do list to achieve contentment. Instead of waiting for happiness to arrive or that moment you exchange vows or use this new year to reflect on the old and what was; revel in what is right in front of you. I have also added quotes from some of the people I find inspirational.   

• The Now, revel in it - In the current moment, look for beauty. Sometimes we are so busy to see that even the simplest things governs. Try not to overlook them.

• Spend responsibly -  If you are single, do everything in your power to stand on your own two feet. Having your own account and a joint account while in a relationship, is also a good idea. By doing this, you are allowing for a stronger more mature relationship. You know what...Life can be shocking and it is imperative to always have a cushion. In so doing no one has more power than the other and instead you can focus on the relationship.

• Reciprocate - Set goals and chase your own dreams and support your partner/those you love in chasing theirs too.

• Don't isolate yourself - Establish relationships and make friends in all walks of life. Network determines your net worth so consider that in mind too.

"I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality."

- Frida Kahlo

• Never legislate your life - There is no rule of thumb to life. You will discover that previous ways of doing things will work, but often times we must step outside the box if we are going to fulfill some things. Once you understand whatever the rules are and what works best for you, you'll see why they are there.

• Always be eager to learn and continue to challenge yourself - Choose to always be a student of life. We are all works in progress, continually fine tuning ourselves as we become the best version of what we can possibly be.     

• Maintain a bit of mystery, always - Whether you are in a relationship that has lasted years, you are dating or with regards to what you share with your friends...keep somethings to yourself. For example: indulgences you allow yourself when nobody is around or where you like to shop for your favourite accessories or what you really think of so-and-s0. 

• Know when your ego is doing the talking - Your ego usually speaks first and learning when its speaking too loudly is always a good thing to recognize so you can keep it in check. Knowing how to discern when its speaking will definately help you make better decisions.

“Live your life as an Exclamation rather than an Explanation”
- Isaac Newton 

• Be assertive - Demand respect tactfully while being able to laugh at yourself.

• Knowing the key thing about you  - Never wish away your life. We will always want, because we are humans and because humans have egos. Knowing which wants will help us and which will hurt us is key.

• Find something to always look out for - I had my mom (may she rest in peace), now it's my sister, my brother, my nephew, my cousin and her unborn baby and now my husband's  children and his niece. The point I am making is have someone/something in your life to care or look out for. For example: it could be your children, your pets, your neighbour's children, a widowed aunt/grandmother/uncle, nieces or nephews. Be sure to give them wings as a caretaker. Don't enable them. Build their confidence and let them know you are supporting them, by giving them the belief in themselves to also try to explore new things. Having people in my life who look out for me, is something I am forever grateful for. 

• Make patience a virtue - I am now seeing the value in patience after having a hard time of seeing it. I am now aware of what a treasure having such a virtue is.

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction".

- Margaret Thatcher 

• Let that swan/peacock inside you loose - The best gift you can give yourself, is the time to get to know yourself. You may think this a odd gift because after all getting to know yourself is not all kisses and roses. In fact, the inaugural stages are full of tears, doubt, and questioning.  But similar to going through the pain of growing spurts or straightening your teeth, the pain of the process produces an amazing result that, upon completion, is viewed as being more than worth the pain. In the end, know what you will and won’t compromise on.

• Establish a Healthy Confidence - "If you are not happy single you wont be happy taken. Happiness comes from within not men". This quote says it all. 

• Surround yourself with Goodness, Sincerity and Positivity - "That which we elect to surround ourselves with, becomes the museum of our soul and the archive of our experience." -Thomas Jefferson

• Never be afraid of being alone - Its not selfish to finding time to be alone sometimes. Cherish those moments and try to do them on a regular basis. This will help you find balance, make you sure of your focus and help you gain clarity on decisions. So many people, unfortunately, miss out on the priceless benefits of being comfortable with time alone and with their only personal company. For whatever reason, being able to be alone often receives a bad rap, but I’d like to turn that all around by reminding us all that solitude, being able to be comfortable and at ease with our own company, is a sign of inner peace and the key to creating a contented life.

"Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great adventure down to the day when he shall no longer cast a shadow in the sun. For if he dies without a question in his heart, what excuse is there for his continuance?"
- Frank Moore Colby 

• Life Decisions, make them consciously - Whatever you do, take the time to be certain your actions are not being subconsciously coerced by societal norms, others’ expectations or lack of strength to do something more desirable.

• Breathe - I have learnt to do these three little things, and it works like a charm: Assess and then Congratulate or Adjust Regularly.

• Charting your Own Course – Never be a sheep, dress fashionably like the wolves BUT seek with a positive aura. There are more than enough followers in this world. Get on about the business of enjoying the journey that must be traveled to arrive at your intended destination.

• Maintaining Balance - Keeping one’s balance is a dynamic skill that requires constant attention. Just as a gymnast demonstrates their agility on the balance beam by concentrating their focus and not becoming distracted so as not to fall off, so too must we train our focus on the balancing of our wants versus our needs, our demands versus our more pleasurable pursuits and our personal boundaries versus keeping close healthy relationships. Every aspect of our lives is a practice in keeping our balance, and in order to be successful, whether it be how we raise children, handle our money, manage our health or nurture both our personal and professional lives, we must always be tending to it.

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

- Dalai Lama

• Always allow your mind to work for your benefit - Do you remember the movie Matrix? I love that movie, it shows you how great the mind is. Concieve and you will achieve. 

Well that was my last tip, have a fantastic journey and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Thanks for reading!

xxo
G